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For Tantra Teachers and Tantrikas
What the Tantra Community Needs to Know About
Working With People with Asperger's Syndrome
Most people with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) -- with or without a formal diagnosis -- want friends and lovers in their lives,
but need and often seek precise instruction in ways to create and foster social and intimate relationships. Some people with
Asperger's Syndrome may have already been your clients and students, but with perhaps limited success and satisfaction.
As a teacher, you need to understand that Aspies, and people with Autism and other Pervasive Developmental Disorders and
learning differences, are working double-time just to be in your class. People with Asperger's have to learn about a whole
new set of social expectations and behaviors that are part of the Tantric "sub-culture." This kind of learning does
not come easily to Aspies. They have to make sense of this at the same time they have to learn your course material, meditations
and exercises. They need to self-advocate. And they need your assistance and support. When they request information, or need
to discuss their sensory issues or worries, please be gracious and helpful. Above all, do not make assumptions about what
they can and cannot do. Everyone is different.
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While neurotypical people enjoy flocking and talking together in workshops,
Aspies are often on the edge of the crowd or in the least populated part of a room -- reading or simply looking like wallflowers.
Or you might notice a student "talking someone's ear off" with a great deal of enthusiasm about esoteric, technical or historical
aspects of his or her special interest. You might even find yourself thinking that a particular student seems "clueless,"
"geeky," "weird," "a free spirit," "emotionally disconnected," or "overly into her head."
While it is important for you, as a teacher, to notice behavior and create sensitive accommodation for someone who
appears to need it, it is equally important NOT TO DIAGNOSE or label anyone. There are many sensory and developmental conditions
that can "look like" some parts of Asperger's Syndrome and the reverse is also true. Leave diagnosis the professionals.
Besides, most adults who may be on the Asperger's spectrum do not have, and are not likely to get, an official diagnosis.
This is because the American Psychiatric Association did not recognize Asperger's Syndrome as a "specific pervasive developmental
disability" until 1994, and there still has not been enough work about this neurodiverse condition. Some people who have heard
about Asperger's may "think they share" some or most of the traits, but don't really know for sure.
So it's not surprising if you, as a Tantric teacher, dakini or daka, haven't heard about Asperger's Syndrome or known
how to recognize a possible candidate. And if you don't have any idea about how to accommodate an Aspie student, don't worry.
TIAS Project is here to help!
So here's a little more information about Asperger's Syndrome. At this time, AS is thought to be a "higher functioning"
Autism Spectrum disorder. Aspie women and girls seem to "present" differently than men, and so they are harder to spot. But
in general, behavioral signs of Asperger's Syndrome can include:
--a lack of social skills, or ability to generalize use of learned social skills to varied situations;
--lack of clarity about other people's "personal space;"
--literal use and understanding of language;
--blunt honesty (which can be very refreshing!);
--intense focus on one or a few special interests (displaying almost encyclopedic knowledge);
--intellectual brilliance, often in history, music or high tech and scientific fields;
--an array of sensory processing issues and resulting learning differences.
Sometimes Aspies seem to lack emotion when involved in emotional, highly charged or complex situations. It's important
to remember that many people with Asperger's Syndrome (and other Autism Spectrum Disorders) often "shut down" under too much
sensory and emotional stimulation -- and this can certainly take place in a Tantra workshop! It's not that they "won't" respond,
but that under the stresses of sensory overload, they simply can't. Or it may be that their emotional responses are not recognized
as such by lovers or workshop leaders, because these responses don't conform to "normal" standards or expectations.
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FEW TIPS FOR TEACHERS
To be successful, your Aspie (or possibly-Aspie) student needs:
--extra acceptance and helpfulness on your part. TIAS Project encourages Aspie Tantra students to self-advocate and
prepare for your class by asking questions and discussing issues with you in advance.
--precise, literal language and simple instructions about personal and social interactions that the neurotypical person
considers basic and elementary.
For example: clear ground rules for behavior at a Tantric retreat, communicated up front, is even more important for
your Aspie students. They are not likely to understand "unwritten rules" of behavior even in more conventional circumstances,
and in a Tantric setting, may innocently go too far.
--simplified practices and precise, clear instructions, due to inability to process language and perform or respond
to two or more different but simultaneous sensory experiences.
For example: sensory overload can happen when the student is given too many things to do at once (like listening to
an instructor, moving a body part, and having to make sounds all at the same time) or too many people to work with at one
time. This just won't work for most Aspie students.
Sensory overloads may also happen in workshops during the popular (and often noisy) trauma processing and orgasmic
breathing sessions. The Aspie student may simply shut down and be unable to progress with the exercise.
--built-in periods of privacy and "alone time."
For example: it may be imperative for an Aspie student to leave the room in order to diminish sensory overload. "Escape
routes" from the group, and opportunities to do so, should be available as needed to the Aspie student, without any penalty
or social stigma.
--the abilty to voice specific requirements about comfort levels in touching or being touched at any point in a class
or workshop, without being judged as "uptight" or difficult.
For example: Any activity that seems too "touchy-feely," even if not sexual, may cause an Aspie student to feel uncomfortable,
either due to sensory overload or worse (see below).
--a gentle approach, as many people with Asperger's Syndrome have been cruelly bullied as children, socially ostracized
and/or sexually abused.
The reasoning behind this should be obvious to any sensitive teacher, Tantric or otherwise.
--opportunities to ask questions and/or work one on one with an instructor.
Amy Marsh is available for consultation and will be offering training to the Tantra community in Asperger's Syndrome
Accommodation as early as Spring, 2008.
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